Jesus (1979)

Behold!  For I have found the worst Jesus movie ever made!  Jesus is available for free on the Internet in every language ever.  It's a word for word adaptation of the Book of Luke.  The actors don't even act it out so much as they just sort of recite it.  Also, Jesus apparently had access to a blow dryer.  It might be good to watch if you are trying to memorize the Book of Luke, otherwise you can skip it.

Masada

Masada is a TV mini-series that aired in 1981.  It was four episodes long and one very hard slog for me.  It pretty much ignores history and turn the Jews into Americans so you know who you are supposed to root for.  There is one particularly narm-y part where the Romans start catapulting Jewish prisoners at the fort.  The best part of the whole movie for me was when my boyfriend came down the stairs, watched a few seconds of the Masadians playing in the water and said, "Nothing enrages Jews like the sound of other Jews having fun."  I thought about placing this movie further down the list since it occurs in the 2nd century C.E., but then I decided I wanted to get all of ancient Israel out of the way at once.  Soon I will be leaving the Jews behind and moving on to Classical Greece.

King David

King David is relatively short for a Bible movie.  The acting was pretty good, and I really like Richard Gere in it.  Especially when he was danceing around in his underwear.

Samson and Delilah

Samson and Delilah is the last of the made for TV Bible Epics movies I'm going to cover.  I actually wasn't very familiar with the story of Samson before this movie, so that made it more interesting for me.  Also, it was full of sexy people.  Elizabeth Hurley gave a good, naturalistic performance, while Dennis Hopper sounded like a robot who had just learned how to understand English.

The Ten Commandments

The Ten Commandments is more fun to look at than it is to watch.  The costumes are gorgous, the acting is painful.  I split it into two sittings.  At this point I think the Biblical Epic was starting to wear me down.

Moses

Moses is another one of those very accurate made for TV movies.  Ben Kingsley plays Moses, which leads me to wonder if, in this universe, Moses is somehow descended from Potiphar.  It actually covers more information than than The Ten Commandments even though it is shorter, and it doesn't shy away from things like Moses ordering the death of the disobedient Hebrews.

The Prince of Egypt

The Prince of Egypt felt like it went by in the blink of an eye after watching so many long, long Bible movies.  It was pretty good for a kid's movie.  I'm not sure why they made all the Egyptian buildings so ridiculously huge, but I find it kind of annoying.  People make a big deal about how great the music in this movie was, but I found it to be pretty boring.  I would however recommend this if you are a completionist but don't want to watch a really long Exodus movie.

Joseph

Joseph is a sort of sequel to the made for TV Abraham.  This movie had a surprisingly big name cast with Ben Kingsley playing Potiphar.  There were many shots of the camera caressing a scantily clad Joseph through the gaze of Potiphar.  I really can't figure out if the homoerotic subtext in this movie was intentional or not, but it has made it my favourite Biblical movie.  Also, Monica Bellucci was criminally under-used as the Pharaoh's wife.

The Story of Jacob and Joseph

The Story of Jacob and Joseph is another long epic I broke up over two sittings.  This is one of the few movies to cover the story of Jacob.  I guess the idea of one of the good guys being a lieing polyagamist unsettles people.

Abraham

Abraham was the begining of a series of biblical made for TV movies from the early 90s into the '00s.  It covers the story of Abraham in a very detailed way.  It also offers a pretty accurate portrayel of how historians believe the early Hebrews lived. If I were teaching a theology class I would probably show these movies to my students.

The Bible

The Bible is a super-literal portrayal of the Book of Genesis.  Depending on your point of view, this seems to make it either very inspiring or very ridiculous.  It is very long.  I watched it in two sittings.  As literal as it is, they did cut out a few episodes that I personally think would have made the movie more interesting.
Note:  Now that we are entering the Ancient Israel portion of our tour, I am going to be watching a lot religious movies.  I'm not particularly interested in whether or not the events depicted actually happened, or whether or not the are "true" in some philosophical sense.  Basically, what I'm trying to say is that I don't have any interest in engaging in religious debate.